I know this might sound crazy, and I know no one with believe.I’ve been trying to figure this out ever since I can remember, but every time I try to I just get mad, at myself and at God because he wont explain it to me, maybe he has and I just didnt have my eyes and ears open enough. .I really dont even know how to explain it but I’ll try as best I can. Im kinda scared and my hands are starting to shake. I’ve only really ever tried to explain it to one person and even then I dont think they really understood.  I’ve been living for 19 years now. When someone says “The world doesn’t revolve around you” what do they mean?Ever since I was little its been me, I dont see myself until I look in a mirror. I see the world and everything that goes on in it and I’m in the center of it all. Like someone is looking through my eyes to see the world. I have crazy dreams, I get weird feelings( Im not saying that I see things). Like I’m here to show someone what everyone else in the world is doing. I’m not saying that I know everyone in the world because I dont, thats impossible. I get scared, so scared that I’m when its my time to do what I’m here to do that I’m gonna be to afraid to do it. I ask God to show me, give me a sign of something, so I know that I’m not losing my mind.I just feel like, I’m the key to it all, That I’m gonna have to do something, be something. Sometimes I just forget about it and go on with my life but when I realize and feel it again. It makes me feel, just feel  weird!  I dont know what I’m suppose to do……..but I do know that I’m not crazy.I dont go to church but I do believe in God. I’m here for something BIG and I know it.

Author: kitrellckj

May 28th, 2008 at 7:33 am in Philosophy and Religion, Uncategorized

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